


Hair

by whump_tr0pes



Series: David & Nia [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flashbacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 08:37:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21389269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whump_tr0pes/pseuds/whump_tr0pes
Summary: Five months after Nia survived being tortured by Graylan, she struggles with flashbacks.
Relationships: David & Nia
Series: David & Nia [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1481636
Kudos: 12





	Hair

**Author's Note:**

> Contains a graphic flashback of rape/noncon

David looked over at Nia as she lounged on the couch next to him, reading something on her phone. She caught him staring and grinned. He lifted his arm, inviting her in. She put her phone down and leaned against him, sighing contentedly. Her arm went around his waist. His went around her shoulder and he squeezed.

“What’re you reading?”

“Nothing.” She looked up at him and smiled.

“Didn’t look like nothing.” He grinned down at her and kissed the top of her head. “You embarrassed about reading those romance novels again?”

Nia sat up, feigning fury. “That was ONE TIME and I wasn’t even reading it!”

David raised his hands in surrender. “Ok, ok, if you don’t wanna tell me that’s fine.” Laughing, he stood up, grabbing the empty glass off the table next to the couch. “I’m getting more water, you want something?”

She shook her head, reaching for her phone again. “No thanks.”

As he walked past her – he’d done it a million times before, he didn’t think, he just didn’t _think_ about it! – he grabbed a handful of her hair and gave it a playful tug.

Her fist cracked against his wrist. The sudden pain, the shock of the blow, and the crashing realization of what he’d just done broke upon David at once. The glass slipped from his hand and smashed against the floor.

He jumped back from the flying shards with a low cry. As soon as he had his footing again, he snapped his eyes to Nia. She was cringed away from him on the couch, her hands thrown up to protect her face. Her chest heaved with silent sobs. Her eyes were fixed on him with a look of terror and rage.

“Oh my god, Nia, I -” He took a step towards her, forgetting the glass. She flinched back with a gasp. He stopped cold. “I…I’m so sorry Nia. I didn’t think…” Her eyes were too wide. Tears began to form and roll down her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to… Nia…I’m so sorry.” He held out his hands to her helplessly.

“Don’t _fucking touch me_,” she snarled. He pulled his hands back, hearing the unsaid word in the air. _…Graylan._ At least, he hoped that’s the name she was thinking.

“Nia…” He backed into the corner, leaving the exit free for her if she wanted to leave. “Nia, where are you right now?”

Her lips trembled as she drew in a painful, sobbing breath. “I don’t…know…”

He felt his back press against the wall. He kept his hands raised. “Are you with him right now?”

Her eyes couldn’t seem to focus on him. “I…don’t…”

“Do you hear him right now? See him?”

She shuddered, drawing in on herself. “I…_feel_…him…”

David’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Nia, I…” He swallowed the painful knot in his throat. “Nia, you’re not there…you’re not with him. You’re home. With me. Can you look around? Can you see that you’re home?”

She pressed her lips together and shook her head violently, sending tears cascading down her cheeks. “No…” Her voice broke. “No, I…” Her hands went to her hair. “I feel him…” She grabbed two fistfuls of hair and began to pull. “I feel him…” Her mouth fell open and a scream began to tear out of her throat, breaking with each sob. “I can…smell him on me…” She pulled harder on her hair. “No no no no no… I can feel him…”

“Nia, please…” David took a hesitant step forward. “Please don’t…Nia, you’ll hurt yourself…”

Nia’s hands fell uselessly into her lap. Her eyes were unfocused as she relived the memory David had triggered in her. _Stupid…I should have known…I should have…_ Briefly, an image flashed in front of his vision of Nia, slumped forward in the chair with her hands cuffed behind her. Graylan took a handful of her hair and pulled her face up to him. Her eyes were unfocused. She was lost in the agony of the torture. “_I almost wish I hadn’t broken you.”_ David shuddered and closed his eyes against the tears threatening to fall.

“Nia…” She didn’t look up at him. Her mouth was pulled open in a silent scream. Her body trembled with tension. “Nia?”

_“You know, I could go again.”_

_Graylan pulled Nia backwards towards him. She didn’t resist him, didn’t pull away. She trembled with the shock. _

_“Aw, that’s it? No more fight from you?” Graylan placed a hand on her back. “Jesus, this was all it took? I’m disappointed, Nia. I thought you’d make this more fun.” He leaned his weight on her. Her broken ribs protested and she gasped, squirming to get away from the crushing pain. “There we go. Welcome back to the world.” She tried to roll to the side to throw his hand off her. “Oh, you wanna be on your back?” She whimpered. “Sounds like a plan to me.”_

_Gripping her hips so hard they bruised, he flipped her onto her back. The motion forced a cry out of her as her ribs pressed against the floor. “I like being able to see your face anyway.” His hand wrapped around her throat. _

_She moaned. “No…” She pushed her cuffed hands weakly against his chest. “Please…I…” She hiccoughed and sobbed at the pain that shot through her chest. _

_Carson stepped in and reached for the handcuffs. _

_“No.” Graylan held out a hand. He smiled down at her, his eyes dark. “She can fight me on this one.” He leaned down so his lips were brushing her ear. “Sounds fun, right?” She whimpered. “If you can fight me off, this ends. Ok?”_

_Tears rolled down her cheeks. “Please…”_

_Without another word, Graylan positioned himself over her and forced himself into her again. _

_She grunted, ribs too on fire to cry out from the pain. She could feel the blood, feel where she was torn. Graylan worked into her mindlessly, his hand still around her neck. “Damn, Nia, you’re not even trying that hard.”_

_Her hands shook as she pushed against the hand around her throat. It tightened and she gasped, eyes watering as her airway constricted. “P…” She couldn’t form the words. Summoning her strength as each thrust send pain stabbing through her, she weakly shoved her hands against his chest. _

_“Better, but you’re going to have to try harder than that.” Graylan’s lips pulled back over his teeth as he released her throat. He pulled one leg up so her knee was resting on his shoulder and forced himself deeper inside her. She cried out from that as he bruised her from the inside. _

_“Come on, Nia, if I didn’t know better I’d say you want this.” _

_She shook her head and moaned weakly. “No…no…”_

_“Then give me something to work with, Nia! It’s no fun if you’re just…” He grabbed a handful of hair and forced her face towards him. “…pliable.”_

_She choked on a sob and pushed at his hands. “No…”_

_Graylan sighed. He grabbed the handcuffs and pulled them up and over his head. He let her leg fall to the side as the moved the cuffs behind his shoulders. He put a hand around her neck and forced her head against the ground with the hand in her hair. He leaned back so her wrists pulled tight in the cuffs behind him. She cried out. _

_He quickened the speed of his thrusts into her. She tried to pull away, but he was everywhere. She couldn’t move herself out from underneath his weight. She tried to pull back from him and the cuffs cut deeper into her wrists. She couldn’t release the pressure with his hand forcing her head back. Her mouth fell open and a wail tore out of her throat. _

_“You look fucking pathetic right now.”_

_Nia tried to shake her head against the hand in her hair. “No…”_

_His hand twisted and tightened in her hair. “But seeing you like this…makes me feel…” She could feel him shudder over her. He growled in his throat and forced himself harder into her. He pushed her head away from him and she screamed as the cuffs dug into her wrists. “…so fucking…good.”_

_Her moan pushed him almost over the edge. He yanked the cuffs back over his head and pinned them to the ground behind her head. Completely overcome, he smashed his hand across her face and relished the look of shock and pain that made her freeze. He grabbed a handful of her hair and forced her head against the ground as he came hard into her. The grip on her hair eased as he trembled, his weight pressing her into to the floor. His breath was hot on her neck as he moaned with the fading wave of his orgasm. Her eyes were open and unseeing, fixed forward. Graylan stroked her hair almost gently. He pulled out of her and remained on his knees as he caught his breath. Nia lay silent and still on the floor. _

_“Carson.” Graylan drew himself to his feet. “You’re up, if you want.”_

“Nia.”

_His hand tightened in her hair._

“Nia, honey…”

_“You look fucking pathetic right now.”_

She shuddered.

_“It’s no fun if you’re just…” He dragged her face towards his with a hand in her hair. “…pliable.”_

“Nia…” David held his hands out to her, half-frozen.

_He strained backwards, forcing her wrists against the handcuffs with a hand in her hair, holding her head to the ground. _

Nia felt him moving inside her.

_He yanked her head back by her hair._

“No…”

_He grabbed her…_

“Please…”

_He forced her head back._

“NO!”

She jumped off the couch, one foot landing squarely on a shard of glass. She didn’t notice the pain.

“Nia…”

She dashed towards the kitchen. David’s stomach dropped. “Nia!” He rushed to follow her, unthinking.

She reached for the kitchen knives.

“Nia, _NO!_” David lunged to grab her arm. She whirled to face him, the heavy kitchen scissors in her hand. Her eyes were wild with terror and pain. “Nia…”

She grabbed a handful of her hair and brought the kitchen scissors up to it.

Tears poured down her face as she began to cut. Chunks of her hair fell away and onto the floor as she roughly hacked at it. Her chest shook with sobs. She stumbled and blood smeared onto the floor from the cut in her foot. David took a step back with his hands up, his mouth open in shock.

“Nia…”

She didn’t look at him. The scissors were dull and cut slowly. Her eyes were unfocused as she stared at the floor. She dropped the locks of hair unthinking from her hand.

“Nia…” David’s voice was a whisper. The last handful of hair drifted to the floor. She stood still, trembling. The scissors fell from her hand. She flinched at the sound as they hit the floor.

He took a careful step towards her, hands outreached. He was shaking. “Nia…” His hand brushed against her arm. She shuddered at his touch. He paused for a moment. “Nia…”

Slowly, her eyes moved to his face. Her lips trembled. “P…please…” Her hands moved up to her hair. She felt the rough cut against her fingers. The feeling of Graylan’s hand in her hair fell away. David pressed his hand against her arm. The sensation made her stomach spasm, and she felt Graylan inside her again. She gasped.

David pulled his hand away and stepped back. He raised his hands, carefully watching her face.

Nia leaned against the counter. Her legs quaked under her. For a moment the kitchen was filled only with the sound of her ragged breathing.

“David…?”

“I’m here.” David strained with the effort of not going to her. “I’m right here. Are you here with me?”

Nia’s eyes were dull with pain. “I…I think so…” Her left hand went to her right arm and slowly stroked the two scars marking each side of her forearm. Her hand wrapped around her wrist and squeezed. “I’m…not…” She faintly felt Graylan’s hands on her, like the touch of a ghost.

“Can you tell me what you’re feeling? What you see?”

Slowly, painfully, she nodded. “I…feel…him pull my hair.” Her hand went up to touch it. “I feel him…inside me…fucking me.” She swallowed hard. “I feel…him breathing on me. But I…” Her eyes slowly focused on him. “I see…you.” He remained still. “I see…” Her eyes moved around the room. “Our kitchen. And…” Her gaze was drawn to the floor. “…blood.” Her voice was surprised. Her eyes followed the smears and puddles to the living room, and then back to her. She lifted her injured foot. “…ow.” She sounded confused.

“You stepped on the glass, love.” David’s voice was soft and gentle. Finally, she turned her eyes to him and really saw him. He remained still, several steps away with his hands raised. His eyes searched hers. “Are you here with me?”

She swallowed hard and nodded. “I feel…” She pulled a hand through her hair. “I feel like…I’m going to fall back in.”

“Can you stay here with me? Can you breathe with me?” She dragged in an abrupt inhale. “There you go. Slowly. Blow it out.” She paused for a moment, as if trying to remember how. David slowly blew his breath out between his lips. A moment later, Nia followed. “Again. Here we go.” He drew a long, slow inhale in through his nose. Nia pressed her hand into her forearm and drew in a shaky breath. She let it out with David.

“Can you be in your body right now?”

Tears pricked Nia’s eyes. “I don’t want to. There are bad things…happening.”

“Can you be in your body _now_? Not with him. Not then. Now.”

“I…” Her hands reached for him. “Please…”

He took a low step forward. Then another. “Be right here with me. Can I touch you?” She nodded jerkily. He carefully placed his hands on her arms. “Can you feel this?” She nodded again. “Can you focus on this?”

She pressed her lips together. “Yes… David…I don’t want to feel -”

“I know. Focus on what’s happening right now. You feel my hands. Do you feel the counter? Do you feel the floor?”

She looked down, noticing where the counter and floor were touching her. “Yes.”

“Ok.” He began to lightly drag his hands up and down her arms. “Can I do this?”

She folded her arms across her chest and shivered violently. She realized she was freezing. “Yes.”

“Can you stay right here while I clean up the glass? Then can we sit on the couch?”

She nodded, shaking. “Yes.”

He stepped away from her, keeping his hands on her shoulders until she fell out of reach. He walked to the closet, pulling out the broom and dustpan. He turned back to her and began to sweep up the mess. She stood still, watching him as she trembled. Her limbs felt icy cold. He finished up sweeping the glass and poured it into a paper bag. He placed it in the trash can and turned back to her.

“Nia?”

She rubbed her arms as she looked at him. “Hm?”

“Are you still here?”

“Mm hm.”

“Ok. Let’s go to the couch.” He let her lead the way, careful not to touch her. She sat down the center. She felt numb down to her bones. David shook out a blanket that was thrown over the back of the couch and held it out to her. “Can I put this on you?”

“Mm hm.”

As he wrapped it around her, she sighed and relaxed a little. “Better?”

_“Better, but you’re going to have to try harder than that.”_

She shook her head, trying to clear the memories.

“I’m sorry, I can…”

“No.” Her voice was a whisper. “It’s good.”

“Ok.”

They sat in silence for a while. Nia focused on her breathing. David watched her carefully.

Nia’s lips trembled. “I’m sorry.”

David’s breath came out of him in a rush. “No no no no, Nia, don’t…” He reached out a hand to her. “Please don’t…can I touch you?” She nodded. His hand made circles on her back. “Please don’t apologize. I’m so sorry. I should have known, I should have _thought_… I’m sorry Nia, I just didn’t think about it…”

Wearily, she shook her head. “…why do I still feel him on me?”

David’s eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know, love. But… Please don’t be sorry. I’ll…what do you need, I’ll do it, I’ll do anything.” The circles he was making on her back sped up. “What do you need?” His voice was a desperate whisper.

Nia shook her head, her eyes unfocused. “I…don’t…” She swallowed and wiped her face with her arm.

David slowed down the hand on her back. “Ok. Do you want to be touched right now?”

She hesitated, thinking. She nodded.

David’s hand continued tracing circles into her back. “Does…does this feel ok?”

She nodded.

“Can I touch you here?” His other hand rested on her knee. She nodded. “Here?” He touched her face carefully, so carefully. She turned her face into his palm and held it there.

“David, can I…” Her hands reached for him. Her fingers brushed against his shirt. “Can we…” She unfolded her legs. “Will you just hold me?”

David stretched out on the couch as Nia lay down beside him. “Yeah. I can do that.” His arms went around her, gently, not restraining her. She pressed her face against his neck. She tangled her fingers in his shirt and held him close. He pressed a kiss into the top of her head, feeling the uneven hair brushing his face.

“I just want…” Nia sniffed. “I just want to be touched and…feel good. I want you to be…” She shivered as his hand pressed against her lower back. “I just don’t want…to hurt…” Tears soaked into the fabric beneath her. “Please don’t…I don’t want to hurt…”

“I’m not gonna hurt you, Nia,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry I did that. I won’t do it again.”

“I just feel so scared.” She whimpered.

His heart twisted. “I’m so sorry, love. What do you need?”

She trembled in his arms. “I feel so small, and scared…and I’m afraid…” She shuddered. “Sometimes it feels like I’m back there and I’m never getting out… I get scared that you…” She swallowed a painful lump in her throat. “…that you, that _anybody_ will hurt me and I just can’t…” She clutched his shirt. “Please, David, please just…don’t hurt me…make me feel good, please just make me feel good, make me feel safe,” she pleaded. She choked out a sob.

“Ok.” David’s voice was low and even. “Let me try.” His hands went to her back and he pressed her gently against him. His fingers began to trace designs into her back. “Is this ok?” She nodded. His hand moved to her arm, stroking up and down from her shoulder to her hand. “Is this ok?” She nodded and snuggled into him. He moved his hands over her body, keeping away from her neck and hair. He stroked her face. “Is this ok?” She nodded and sighed. He pulled her face up to his and kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her nose. “Is this ok?” She smiled against his lips, just for a moment.

Out of habit, his hand moved up her back and almost reached her neck. His hand stopped. “Nia, can I… Do you want me to touch your hair? In a way that feels good?”

She froze. David could feel her holding her breath. Then, slowly, she reached for his hand. She brought it up to her head and held his hand to her hair, gently. She trembled at the touch but melted into it. She pulled her hand away and tangled her fingers into his shirt again.

David carefully drew his fingers through her hair. “I know you used to like this,” he whispered. She nodded. “You tell me if you want me to stop, ok?”

She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against his. “I just want to feel safe again, David.” He cradled the back of her neck and held her to him. “I just want to feel safe.”


End file.
